Lizards and Lady Boys

There are some GIANT lizards in Lumpini Park. The big boys are about 8' long, nose to tail tip. When they swim they look like crocodiles (alligators?). We keep our distance, and even though I'm a little disgusted by these creatures and their bacteria-laden saliva it IS delightful to see giant lizards loose in your neighborhood park!

The park is one of the Royal public places, so it is kept in pristine condition by armies of Thai people in green jackets, raking, sweeping, planting flowers, and tweezing grass from between the bricks on the paths. You have to watch out for the water trucks, though -- they drive along spraying klong water on the grass, and you do NOT want to get it on you. The klongs are the canals that run through Bangkok -- at one time they were a source of water as well as transportation, but now they are filthy. There are urban myths that may not be so mythic about people falling into the klongs and dying a few days later of mysterious infections and ailments. Ew.

Last night we went to a cocktail party put on by the American Chamber of Commerce -- apparently the Chambers of Commerce from many countries put on these soirees regularly as a way of encouraging mixing, elbow rubbing, cross pollination, and the furtherance of commerce. As with any cocktail party, it's mostly about the drinking. I wore that black Jil Sander and stilettos, and we had a great time.

Met a lot of women with "I want Barry!" on their foreheads in red blinking lights, who did their level best to smile at me, poor things. I was nice to them because I certainly understand their position. I met Jason and Jason's father -- both darling. Saw Travis again and met his lovely girlfriend Jessica. Met Jeff and Nathan and a few other people who's names I never caught or lost to vodka. All in all, your basic cocktail event in a hotel bar.

Which, by the way, was called "Bamboo Chic" and located in the Meridien. You know that horrible ring tone I downloaded, that was supposed to sound like crickets but actually sounded like swamp? They had that soundtrack in their elevator!

On our way home we walked by Soi 4, which is a long alley-type street known for its Lady Boy population. I can attest to the beauty of the Bangkok Lady Boy -- one of these nights I want to go to a Lady Boy show. owever, it might be difficult to go to a show and NOT be pressured into a "private show" -- you can see ANYTHING here. Hucksters hang out on the sidewalks with MENUS -- no kidding -- of combinations and positions -- little diagrams of fornication -- you can pick and choose your own a la carte delight, or go for a prix fixe combo -- all up to you!

Oh, and for the record, there are streets that specialize in all the above with women. And some specialize in just "Western" women; or Russian girls; or black girls; or Thai girls; or.... you get the picture. Pick a number off the menu and Miss Thing gets in a cab with you and the sky's the limit. The only advice I can offer besides "Have a fantastic time!" is "Double wrap!"

We are waiting for Mike to arrive and then we're headed down to Chinatown for lunch and shopping. Apparently there are many good guitar shops down there, so you KNOW Mike and Barry are going to be happy and engaged -- and in between guitar shops are pearls pearls pearls -- it's shopping porn for everyone involved. Not that I'm actually shopping in the strictest, making-purchases sense -- I'm trying not to collect stuff because I don't want to have to carry it -- I just got rid of a houseful before I left Portland! I will fondle everything, though, and think of you. xo

Goods and Services

I woke up at 5 am again -- still not caught up from traveling, but feeling fine. Maybe I'm just becoming a morning person? bwha-ha-ha-haha! Like that could happen.

I've discovered on-line yoga. Since I've been lazy about finding a studio here, this is a boon. Not only can I do yoga for free, i can do it naked in the comfort of my own home any old time of the day or night. I may never go back to classes again.

Barry's still not feeling well so I had to entertain myself today. Went for a pedicure and ended up getting a manicure, too. My hands and feet are beautiful and feel great, and here's the best part: less than $10 including a handsome tip. I'm never going to paint my own toes again.

Cooked tonight so B could stay at home -- zucchini with tomatoes and pineapple, and it was very good. Here's the thing about cooking here, though: it's hot. Thai people often cook outside. We have a double-glazed sliding glass door between the kitchen and the rest of the apartment. I close it when I cook and it gets to be like an oven in there almost immediately. The door keeps all the heat in, and when I take the food out to the dining room it's deliciously cool.

Here's another thing about cooking in Thailand: they don't add the noxious smell to their cooking gas. They are big on personal responsibility here -- not a lot of frivolous lawsuits. If you leave the gas on you'll die, and it will be your own fault as far as the Thais are concerned. Oh, and I have to light the stove with a match every time. Very old school and a little scary.

B is making his way through the Lord of the Rings movies -- his plan is to be well before he's seen all three. Wish us both luck with that plan. Although, as I recently twittered, Viggo Mortensen. I'm just saying.

Bon Voyage Party!

The Bon Voyage party July 17 was fabulous! We started out at Amy's and then went to the Goodfoot.

Pictures pictures pictures available on Facebook and on Byron Beck's blog. Here are just a few.

Firsts

Well, Barry is sick. He was a little whiney yesterday about how tired he was etc. and I was getting a bit sick of it, so when he started in this morning I felt very impatient. But then I felt his forehead and realized he's actually ill and felt sort of chastened. It's just a stomach bug or something, fever and chills, and he's not so sick he can't eat -- I've been making food all day long! But he's just been in bed all day.

This led to me having my first foray into Bangkok unaccompanied. I didn't go far, just to the market down the street, but on the way I stopped and ordered water from the doorman ("Nam Plow! Khap kun ka!"), who speaks about as much English as I do Thai. We figured it out, though, and my trip was uneventful.

I cooked on the stove for the first time -- stir fried some vegetables, nothing fancy, but it felt domestic and thrifty and healthy to do as we have been eating out almost every meal. The stoves here are incredibly insulated so they don't throw much heat -- it's like cooking on a kiln. I bought a pack of pre-cut vegetables that included 12 -- yes, TWELVE -- cloves of garlic. The pack was big enough to feed two people, so I figured Thais must use that much garlic, and threw it all in. Turned out great and not too garlicky -- of course, I cooked the hell out of it, but still...

Experienced my first Bangkok rain -- tropical summer storm with huge raindrops and wind blowing them sideways. Even up here on the fifth floor the sound of rain splatting down woke me from a nap -- the energy in a storm here is intense, and apparently the one I witnessed today was very mild -- only a few claps of thunder and a flash or two of lightning.

Finally did some yoga -- I investigated the world of free on-line classes and found it to be rich. I did a very mild class first, and then a short vinyasa class with some German woman who didn't get the same memo I did about yoga -- she was all, "Right! Jump up! Touch your toes bend your knees reach down! Turn around! Do the hokey pokey!" etc. -- but it was still vinyasa and it felt good. I'm going to use on-line yoga until I get a job -- I'm reluctant to spend much money without having an income. B doesn't seem too worried about it, but that doesn't ease my mind at all.

The maid situation here is incredible. Som comes Tuesday and Thursday to clean and two other days to deliver laundry etc. On Thursday I left out a pile of clothes that needed ironing after their rolled-up trip in a suitcase from Portland. I didn't even see Som, much less "ask" (mime would be more accurate) her to iron them, but when we got back from a day out everything was clean and the wrinkly stuff was gone. Friday we came back from a field trip to find that Som had come and (1) delivered laundry which she (2) put away (!), (3) ironed the basket of clothes I'd left out WITHOUT BEING ASKED, (4) returned and put away the ironed clothes, (5) changed the sheets, and (6) left us a bunch of tiny, sweet, finger-sized bananas, which I think grow on a tree by the pool!!! It's amazing and I don't even hate myself for loving it.

Wildlife

I'm talking about fauna, not lady-boys. We'll get to them later.

There is a tiny lizard that lives in our bathtub. He hides in the drain when I shower -- probably peeks, too, the little bastard.

Lots of lizards on the walls outside, skittering around. Something about them delights me, and I'm so happy one lives with us. Thais believe it is good luck to have a lizard as a room mate, and I instinctively feel the same.

HUGE cockroaches here -- the size of a lighter. Thankfully, they seem to live on the sidewalks -- I've not seen any indoors.

Many birds. A few days ago I found a magenta feather in our courtyard. At first I attributed it to a molting lady-boy, but it's not beyond the realm of possibility that it came from a free bird in the neighborhood. You should hear them in the mornings and at night -- they sing up a storm. It's beautiful. When I get up I leave the windows open and the air conditioning off as long as I can stand it so I can hear the birds. Eventually their songs don't carry any water compared to the joys of ac, but for a little while it's very Out of Africa at dawn.

Normally I wouldn't know about dawn, but I'm still adjusting to the time change and waking up way too early. I get a lot of correspondence down before B gets up!

Jazzercize

Ok, I'm here! I haven't been writing because I'm having technical difficulties with this stupid page and the "HELP" and "CONTACT US" functions are circular and useless. That being said, I'm forging ahead.

On Wednesday I saw 300 people doing Jazzercize in the park at dusk. Rotund women in pink unitards, an instructor with a headset on a stage, blaring Thai pop (a v v bad thing!), and old ladies holding their purses while they plie-ed. Weirdest thing? It looked fun.

Yesterday we went to the tailor to get B some clothes -- ordered up three shirts and two trow. We played good cop/bad cop, and naturally I was the heavy. "I want swatches. I want french seams. I hate this fabric I don't want a blend and I'm not paying that much." It worked pretty well and I'm looking forward to seeing how everything turns out.

Last night we drank a bottle of whiskey and took turns playing songs on youtube -- it was a blast! Dancing in the living room! Drunk by 7 pm! Disgruntled neighbors! Then we went over to the Night Market to look for lamps.

We really need lamps -- right now we are living with overhead lighting and it's killing me. And so unflattering! We didn't find lamps but we had a great time, and I got a Hello Kitty shower cap as a consolation prize.

The Night Market is amazing and we'll have to go to it when you visit. There's just STUFF for miles, and some of it is very beautiful. I have been especially taken with all the enamel and rhinestone jewelry -- oooo, sparkly! April, I saw a bag that you would love -- orange with elephants on it. I wish I could get everybody a present!!

My sleep schedule is all off from traveling. We went to bed at 130 last night and I got up at 5 BING wide awake and feeling fine. I NEVER feel fine in the morning, so I made up my mind to enjoy this as long as it lasts. While I wait for B to get up I do all my correspondence -- it's quite satisfying, really, to keep up with all of you. Like I'm not even gone!

It's almost 8, though, and I'm getting hungry. Ready to wake B and go forage for weird food. I saw a squid omelette on the menu at a place near here that we call Home Slice -- it has a picture of a smiling house on its sign. Really. Yesterday I had an oyster omelette for breakfast, the day before olive fried rice with a sunny-side-up egg on top. Delicious.

My hair, as expected, is huge. The clothes I packed are perfect and so far I am managing with my greatly reduced shoe wardrobe. All in all, Bangkok and I get along.

Hunger is winning, time to wake B and discover new breakfast taste sensations. xo

Snacks and Naps

Today has been a series of snacks and naps. I meant to get out to Hood River with JP to tour his new property, but the weather and my state of mind combined to overthrow the project. Instead of picnicking and motoring in a convertible with a gorgeous man I've stayed in my robe and played Scrabble. It IS a silk robe, and I AM winning -- but still.

Tonight I am having cocktails on the patio with Tina and Michelle -- weather permitting, of course. Yesterday I was feeling a little miffed that Portland had pulled out all the stops just in time to make me feel bad about leaving, but all that's over now. It's cold and gray again. Good old Portland.

I'm trying to figure out if buying my Very Important Drugs on-line is a good idea. Anybody know anything about that? If the on-line pharmacy thing is NOT a scam then it is a VERY good deal. Amazing, actually. It seems too good to be true.

I leave in 13 days! I have to remind myself frequently that if I forget it I can buy it there, and all I really need to remember is money tickets passport. Everything else can be figured out. It's nerve-wracking, though, to leave for a year-long vacation with so many things up in the air. I'm just hoping that: I get a job; I get good medical care; I can use my US bank account without any trouble; I adjust to the climate; I can remember not to touch people (it's considered rude, instead of warm and friendly); I have enough shoes; etc.

Please come to my Bon Voyage party -- it will do me so much good to see you before I leave. It's a big undertaking and I could really use your company.