Jesus christ on a pony

I am out of vodka and I can't find my black balconette, which, for all of you wondering, is my favorite kind of bra. It's largely Courtenay's fault. If she hadn't ordered Tater Tots I wouldn't have gotten so thirsty and needed so many cocktails.

My house is a mess! I move out of here Sunday! I have an event on Saturday! I need more boxes! My hair's on fire!

Just remember, darlings: "When in danger or in doubt/Run in circles, scream and shout!" Works for me.